Parents Afraid to Parent
February 16, 2018
Parents are increasingly afraid to “parent” their kids — teach them discipline, personal responsibility, and civility. They’re also afraid to teach their children that consequences are directly tied to their behavior — both good behavior and bad. Sadly, the fear to parent has been growing for at least the last couple of decades.
Parents are afraid to tell junior he didn’t win, so everyone gets a trophy.
Schools have stopped recognizing the valedictorian for fear of hurting the feelings of other students. Laws have been passed that say you can’t spank your kid when he’s being a little brat.
If you yell at a misbehaving child in public, some nosey do-gooder will call child services and turn you in — even if the child is your own!
Schools pass underperforming or failing kids from one class to the next
regardless of whether or not they’ve earned a passing grade.
Parents wont do a damn thing to shut their kids up on airplanes or anywhere else.
The Teacher Unions have managed to rewrite US and world history so kids come out of school thinking they are part of a racist country. White kids feel guilty. Minority kids believe they have no chance, so why bother?
Kids don’t learn manners anymore. We quit teaching them. We also stopped teaching them why it’s important they take personal responsibility for how they behave, what they think, and who they become.
When I was a kid (don’t worry, I wont talk about walking to school 10 miles through snow uphill both directions,) I was given the ‘look’ if I didn’t say please and thank you; if I didn’t hold open the door for ladies, or if I didn’t stand when a lady came to the table.
My father instilled manners and respect in me. He taught me how to behave through his own example. And he expected me to live up to that example.
When I failed to do so, my grandfather had no qualms about taking his belt off and making my ass sting.
The adults in my young life also taught me about winning and losing. I
remember my Uncle Jack hated my longish hair. He challenged me to a
tennis match. If I lost I went to his barber, and if I won, he would give me $20.00. I lost and though I hated it, I went to his barber and got my hair cut.
I was always a poor student. I knew I wasn’t an academic winner. My
feelings weren’t hurt that I didn’t ‘win’. I learned that in the real world, some days you win and some days you don’t. That’s life.
I also learned that bad words got me a mouth full of a dove bar…and
I’m not talking about the ice cream.
I know I’m painting with a broad brush here, but today we don’t discipline our kids. We’re afraid their feelings will be hurt. We don’t spank because we don’t want to bruise their self-esteem (or get called out for child abuse.)
We don’t teach our kids about the rewards of competing and winning
because we don’t want them to feel like losers … or walk away
without a trophy.
It’s all B.S.
Kids are don’t have to be the fragile snowflakes we’re making them
into. They weren’t when I grew up. They shouldn’t be now.
Kids aren’t born knowing how to be kind, thoughtful, or diligent. They
need to learn these things from their parents and other adults. They
need to learn to respect the lives, feelings and positions of others.
Dare I say, they need to learn how to put others before themselves.
They don’t naturally know how to do these things.
Parents, insisting on building character is not you being mean to your children; it’s you loving them.
When kids learn early on there are boundaries and where those
boundaries lie; they know you care about their well being. When you
teach them about reward, merit, and excellence; they know you want
what’s best for them. When you insist they learn how to respect the
lives, feelings, and positions of others; they know you care about the
kind of adults they become.
When I was a kid I played with a myriad of cap guns, squirt guns, and B.B. guns. Yet I never once was tempted to shoot up a school, a church, or a gay bar.
If we don’t start right now changing the way we bring up our kids, imposing love, teaching them to respect others, expecting them to show good manners, we will continue to see the type of deplorable behavior we saw in Florida this week.
John Philip Sousa IV is an entrepreneur, political activist, author and accomplished business person. John has worked in the financial services industry for over 40 years, built a highly successful marketing company, ran for congress at age 24, and in 2016 created and led the successful movement to draft Dr Ben Carson into his candidacy for President of the United States. John is author of John Philip Sousa, A Patriot’s Life in Words and Pictures and Ben Carson, RX for America.